VtM Humour


Favourite Personal Hand-to-hand Weapon:

Real Men        none, real men don't need weapons
Roleplayers    lead pipe, simple but effective
Loonies            Squeeky toy hammer
Munchkins        a jacket concealable short stake covered with poisons that do aggravated damage strength + 6


Favourite Piece of Close Range Firearm:

Real Men        Heavy Semiautomatic Pistol
Roleplayers    A pair of revolvers
Loonies            A portable automatic tennis ball server
Munchkins        MP5 commando machine pistol w/ armour pieceing bullet made of silver and a variable sight


Favourite Piece of Long Range Firearm:

Real Men        5.56 Assault Rifle
Roleplayers     M24 Sniper Weapon System
Loonies            custom-made automatic machine gun with sucker dart bullets manufactured by Nerf
Munchkins       custom-made long range sniper rifle made with Gunsmith 5, equipped with articial intelligence enchanced range finders and thaumaturgical powered bullets


Favourite Piece of Heavy Weaponry:

Real Men            Bazookas and/or Grenade Launchers
Roleplayers          Automatic Shotguns and/or Mortar
Loonies                Historically accurate medieval age catapult with balloon filled with jaw breakers for ammo, it may not be small but it gets the job done
Munchkins            The Arclite Siege Tank from StarCraft


Favourite Merit:

Real Men        Iron Will
Roleplayers        Supernatural Ally
Loonies            Whistle very loudly and in tune
Munchkins        Omnipotence


Favourite Flaw:

Real Men        Code of Honour
Roleplayers        Dark Secret
Loonies            Hungry for lucky charms
Munchkins        Refuses to take any flaws


Favourite Knowledge:

Real Men        Werewolf Lore
Roleplayers        Mage Lore
Loonies            Guinea Pig/Hamster Lore, Small Rodent Lore
Munchkins        All Encompassing/Everything Lore


Favourite Skill:

Real Men        Repair: Guns
Roleplayers        Stealth
Loonies            Orgami
Munchkins        are torn between Melee Specialty Stakes and Firearms Specialty Railguns


Favourite Talent:
Real Men        Leadership
Roleplayers        Intimidation
Loonies            Tap Dancing
Munchkins        are torn between Dodge Specialty werewolves and Brawl Specialty Touch of Death

Favourite Ally:

Real Men        another real man
Roleplayers        a 15th generation catiff w/ insight who is also involved in a conspiracy among the elders 
while the sabbat are trying to.....
Loonies        rubber ducky w/ electronic voice chip that reminds him to wash behind his ears 
or a parrot that argues with everything he says
Munchkins        a methuslah


Favourite Discipline:

Real Men        Potence and Fortitude
Roleplayers    Auspex and Animalism
Loonies            Obfuscate and Makelotsofnoisesus
Munchkins        Celerity and Blowshitupus


Favourite Last Words:

Real Men    Nothing, they died fighting
Roleplayers    a ten minutes dying speech about the flawed values of patriotism, the evils of war, the greed of men, the neverending search for salvation, followed by eulogies from PCs and NPCs until the pizza arrives
Loonies        ha ha you think you can hurt me with that phorous grenade?.... wait a minute, phorous?!?!?!?!?!
Munchkins        I had Fortitude 5, you must've cheated, look it up in the rulebook!!!!!

Real Men    Damn! Didn't see that one coming....
Roleplayers    will whisper out their dreams and aspirations for the future and lament on how they have been sadly crushed 
by the futility of the war, and beg for their fellows to go on without them but never forget... until everyone else gets sick of it and throws dice at them
Loonies        I'M MELTING! MELTING! OH,... WHAT A WORLD, WHAT A WORLD.........
Munchkins    would have cheated on their Stamina + Fortitude roll to get all 10's and live anyways


Typical Adversary/Archenemy

Real Men    a sabbat black hand member
Roleplayers    a powerful necromancer
Loonies        that damn kid that can always beat him at pong...
Munchkins    anyone and everyone who does anything to him