How do you know you're spending too much time with your computer:

You wake up at seven, save your life and continue sleeping thinking you'll wake up at ten and then continue from the saved state. When you press a wrong button in the lift you try to find the Undo button and when you can't find it you are amazed about the poor user interface. When writing a letter you write \n in the end of each line. You've cut yourself while writing a program and before finding the first aid kit you first start the compilation. You try to reboot yourself in the morning. When reading a book you hit the SPACE key to turn page. When you close a window your fingers automatically go to ALT-F4 position. You write your cheques in hex. When talking about round numbers you mean 0, 1, 2, 4, 8, 16, 32, 64,... When the alarm clock goes off in the morning you do kill -9 You try to move a window to the background and you eventually notice it's actually a Post-It sticker. The last thought when falling asleep is "Shutdown completed". When having a mental breakdown you complain that your storage unit is fragmented. In train you watch the landscape scrolling by. When you are counting objects, you go "0,1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,A,B,C,D...". When you dream in 256 palettes of 256 colors. When asked about a bus schedule, you wonder if it is 16 or 32 bits. When your wife says "If you don't turn off that damn machine and come to bed, then I am going to divorce you!", and you chastise her for for omitting the else clause. You try to sleep, and think sleep(8 * 3600); /* sleep for 8 hours */ When you are reading a book and look for the scroll bar to get to the next page. When after fooling around all day with routers etc., you pick up the phone and start dialing an IP number... When you get in the elevator and double-click the button for the floor you want. When not only do you check your Email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one. When you look for a icon to double-click to open your bedroom window. When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal. When you look for a trash can icon for throwing garbage. You ask a friend, "What's that big shiny thing?", and he says it's the sun. You think Webster's Dictionary is a directory of WEB sites. You think rec room is a new newsgroup. When asked for your address on a form, you put @compuserve.com. When using your phone you forget that you don't _have_ to use your keyboard. You see a mosaic display at the art gallery and wonder how to access it without a mouse. Your mother suggests taking an apple to school and you wonder how you're gonna get the @#$@$?!@ thing in your kitbag. You think Edgar Alan Poe wrote "The Pit and the Pentium." Someone slips a disk, and you offer to format him another one. You think "intelligent" means a refined computer user. You want an elevator to the basement and begin looking for the "0" key, because 0 is less than 1. You hit the wrong key on the elevator keypad and you feel frustrated when you see that it has no "undo" key. You are afraid to hit the snooze bar on your alarm clock too many times because you think that the clock's subroutine was mallocing memory each time it goes and printing the free memory on the front, and soon it would run out. When you look for your toothbrush by trying to do a '/toothbrush' command. When you write your code as follows: (define Shit_lang (lambda (crap) (if (eq? crap ()) (display "the shit is over") (begin (if (eq? crap never-ending) (delete! all) (shit_lang (- crap 1)))))) ....in a program which takes up 38 pages (of similar stuff) after 28 hours of work.... When you are trying to recall something and hear in your head: "parity error at address..." ....You're writing a homework assignment, and get the end of the line in the middle of a sentence, tack on a '\', and continue writing on the next line. When you pick up a rootbeer and read the label as "High Res", not Hires... You try to sleep, and think ... "telnet sleep.cs.mun.ca". You have two books, one on top of another, and think: "No problem. I'll just click on its title bar to raise the other book to the front". You hear a prof lecturing, and think that any question will crash his/her lecture interpreter. When you think of the lyrics of "Jump! Jump!" by Kris Kross and wonder if they can be assembled..... When you start typing semi-colons at the end of sentences instead of full stops; You see something written on the blackboard and think: "Why don't I just log on and download it?" When you think you can't wake up in the morning because you forgot to push a return address on the stack the night before. When you wake up with a woman and you think that she is a PDP-11 and you try to figure out how to boot her. When you think your girlfriend is a VAX, and can't figure out where to put the floppy. When you plan a hectic day as follows: 'My load averages seem to be a bit too high, my scheduler might die any moment, and I'm running out of swap space... I'd better kill off some low-priority user processes.' When you are reading a book and look for the space bar to get to the next page. You work on two Sparc stations, and get confused as to why attempting to move the mouse off one screen doesn't move it onto the other. When you watch TV and look for the INFO key in the remote control to find out the name of the program. When you want to grep a book. When you want to grep a videocassette. When you look for your toothbrush by trying to do a 'grep toothbrush /dev/gym_bag' command. When you look for your car keys using: "grep keys /dev/pockets" When you look for your homework using: "grep homework /dev/backpack" When your children do something they shouldn't do, you tell them to stop, and they do it just once more, and you react by thinking: "Well, they prefetched the instruction and are executing it in the delay slot..." When after fooling around all day with routers etc, you pick up the phone and start dialling an IP number... When the bell rings ending class while the prof is in the middle of a sentence, and you think, "How in the world is he going to carry that continuation back to his office?" When you watch the temperature display on The Weather Network say that it is -0 degrees outside, and you catch yourself wondering if it was sign-magnitude or 1's-complement... When you get in the elevator and double-press the button for the floor you want. When you go to the movies and it takes 5 minutes to get used to the flicker (damn low refresh rate...). When you go to the movies and catch yourself wondering what the colour depth of the screen image is... When you see a flock of birds, and you sit there and try to figure out the algorithms that determine their movement. When not only do you check your email more often than your paper mail, but you remember your {network address} faster than your postal one. When your SO kisses you on the neck and the first thing you think is "Uh, oh, priority interrupt!" When you go to balance your checkbook and discover that you're doing the math in octal. When your computers have a higher street value than your car. When in your universe, `round numbers' are powers of 2, not 10. When more than once, you have woken up recalling a dream in FORTRAN. When you wonder if you could comment out the code that caused your girlfriend to get pregnant, but then you realise: you do not have the source to your girlfriend, and even if you do, how are you going to recompile her, anyway? When your alarm clock goes off, you think it is spawning new alarm clock processes and you have to kill them quickly so it wouldn't fill up the process table and prevent you from doing _anything_ about it. The only problem is, there is a monitor process that you won't kill, and every time you kill off one of the ring_alarm(x) processes, it will wait 9 minutes then spawn another one. When you wish: "If only I could 'sleep 24000 &'" ....you try to bring a window to the front of something, then you realize that "something" is a post-it (tm) on your screen... ....when in art class, you make a mistake in a drawing and look frantically for the undo button on the paper. ....When you've been low-level debugging ethernets for a week and when you see two people at a table trying to pick up the same jar of butter and you directly wonder if they are using the correct CSMA/CD algorithm to avoid a re-collision...
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