12 ways to get rid of telemarketers
1. If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for Bankruptcy
and you could sure use some money.
2. If they start out with, "How are you today?" say, "Why
do you want to know?" Or you can say, "I'm so glad you asked,
because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems,
my sciatica is
acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died..." When they
get try to get back to the sell, just continue your problems.
3. If they say they're Joe Doe fro the XYZ Company, Ask them to spell
their name, then ask them to spell the company name, then ask them where
it located. Continue asking them jpersonal questions or questions about
their company for as long as necessary.
4. This one works better if you are male:
Telemarketer: "Hi, my name is Judy and I'm with Canter and Siegel
You: "Hang on a second." (few seconds pause) "Okay, (in
a really husky voice) what are you wearing?"
5. Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, "Judy!!
Is this really you? Oh, my God! Judy, how have you BEEN?" Hopefully,
this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she
tries to figure out where the hell she could know you from.
6. Say, "No", over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each
no, and keep an even tempo even as they're trying to speak. This is the
most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
7. If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends
plan, reply, in a sinister a voice as you can muster, "I don't have
any friends...would you be my friend?"
8. If they clean rugs: "Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how
about goat blood or HUMAN blood.
9. Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary
feedback in the form of an occasional "Uh-huh, really, or "Thats
fascinating." Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to
marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn't give
your credit card number to someone thats a complete stranger.
10. Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example:
Telemarketer: "This is Bill from Watertronics."
You: "Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling
Telemarketer: "Uh, Dallas, Texas."
You: "Great, they have a group there too? How's business/the weather?
Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well,
11. Answer the phone. As soon as you realize it is a telemarketer, set
the receiver down, shout or scream, "Oh, my God!!!" and then
12. Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their
phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allow to
give out their number, Then ask them for their home number and tell
them you will call them at home. (this is usually the most effective method
of getting rid of Telemarketers)