Q. What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand?
A. A man's undivided attention.

Q. How is a man like a snowstorm?
A. Because you don't know when he's coming, how many inches you'll get, or how long it'll last.

Q. What do you call an intelligent man in America?
A. A tourist.

Q. Why is it so hard for women to find men that are sensitive, caring, and good-looking?
A. Because they already have boyfriends.

Only a man would buy a $500 car and put a $4000 stereo in it.

Q. Why did god create man?
A. Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.

Q. What's the difference between a sofa and a man watching Monday Night Football?
A. The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.

Q. Why do men make millions of sperm cells when only one is needed to fertilize the egg?
A. Have you ever known a man to ask for directions?

Q. What is a man's idea of helping you with the housework?
A. Lifting up his legs so you can vacuum underneath them.

Q. What is the difference between a man and E. T.?
A. At least E. T. phoned home.

Q. Why are men so concerned about the size of their penis?
A. Because they should be.

Q. What's the best way to keep a man happy in bed?
A. Move the TV into the bedroom.

Q. Why do most women fake orgasm?
A. Because, most men fake foreplay.

Q. What do you need when you have three male chauvinist pigs up to their necks in cement?
A. More cement.

Q. How do you know when a man has an orgasm?
A. He rolls over and starts snoring.

Q. Why are men like microwave popcorn?
A. They're done in 30 seconds.

Q. What do electric trains and women's breasts have in common?
A. They were originally intended for children but it's men who play with them.

Q. Why do men prefer BMW's over Chevrolets?
A. It's easier to spell.

A. What's the average man's definition of foreplay?
Q. Unzipping his fly.

Q. Why are all dumb blond jokes on-liners?
A. So men can understand them.

Q. What is the difference between a wife and a girl friend?
A. Forty-five pounds.
Q. What is the difference between a husband and a boy friend?
A.Forty-five minutes.

Q. How can you tell soap operas are fictional?
A. In real life, men aren't affectionate out of bed.

Q. What should you give a man who has everything?
A. A woman to show him how to work it.

Q. Why do black widow spiders kill their males after mating?
A. To stop the snoring before it starts.

Q. Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A. Breasts don't have eyes.

Q. How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A. One. Men will screw anything!

Q. What's a man's idea of foreplay?
A. A half hour of begging.