In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity
from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well
trained through our program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(S.H.I.T.). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T. than
anyone else. If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T.
on the job, please see your Manager. You will immediately be placed
at the top of the S.H.I.T. list, and our Managers are especially
skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T. you can handle. Employees
who don't take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL EMPLOYEE
EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to go to EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE
TRAINING (E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before
they were promoted, they don't have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are
all full of S.H.I.T. already. If you are full of S.H.I.T. you may
be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our
BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST (B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those who are
full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T. jobs, and can apply
for promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING (D.I.P.
S.H.I.T).

If you have further questions, please direct them to our HEAD OF
TRAINING, SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.).

Thank you,

BOSS IN GENERAL SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)

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