You know when you're spending too much time online when...
Tech support calls "YOU" for help
Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" out loud you find yourself trying to cock your head 90 degrees when you smile
You have called out someone's screen name while making love to your significant other.
You keep begging your friends to get an account so "we can hang out "
I you are male and see a female in the "Real" world that you wish to meet, your first thought is to IM her
If you are female and you see a male in the "Real " world that you wish to meet your fist thought is that you wish he'd IM you
You don't understand the humor in the above mentioned #7 and #8 since the "real world is at your fingertips.
You have to get a 2nd phone line so you can call Pizza Hut
When you have sex, you no longer are concerned about sexually transmitted diseases
You walk into a room. and finding that it has more than 23 people, you inform management that there is a error
When looking at signs, you wonder why they are always "yelling" at you
You go up to people you are attracted to in "real life " and ask them for their GIF
Although you don't know what they look like, you become insanely jealous of people hitting on your cyber love.
You don't even know what your cyber love looks like
When at work, your boss constantly reminds you that the word i should be capitalized
You watch TV with the closed captioning on
Your spouse now complains of you moving you fingers in your sleep instead of talking
Your kids are eating cereal morning noon & night
When someone says "What did you say ? you reply "Scroll up "
You find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the night when your spouse is asleep
You turn down the lights & close the blinds so people won't know you're on line again.
You know more about your AOL friends daily routines than you do your own spouse
You find yourself lying to others about your time on line & when they complain that your phone was busy you claim it was off the hook
You have an identity crisis someone is using a screen name close to your own
You would rather tell people that your blood shot eyes are from partying too much than the truth ( on line all night)
You change your screen name so much that you have to look at your own profile to see who you are
You go into labour and you stop to type a special eMail to let everyone know you're going to be away and how you're feeling
You marry your cyber friend girl friend and you both sit at your own computers & chat to each other every night from across the room
You type messages to people while you are on the phone with them at the same time
You understand the humor in all of these jokes because you have committed them yourself
Your dog leaves you
You are doing things more & more that you swore you would never do when you first got on line
You sign on & immediately get 10 IMs from people who have you on their buddy line
You have a map on the wall w/lots of red thumbtacks to mark where people are you have met
You look at an annoying person off-line & wish you had your ignore button
You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer
Your significant other kisses your neck while you're chatting & you think "uh oh cyber sex perve"
You go through "withdrawal" if you are away from the computer for more than a few hours
Your buddy list has over 100 people on it
You understand what BIF ISO BIM means. (I wonder how many will get this one..if so you've been hanging out in *strange places* )
You wake up in the morning and the first thing you do is get on line before you have your 1st cup of coffee
You have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake
You have your computer set so it goes directly into AOL's welcome screen
You wait 6 hours on line for a certain "special " person to come home from work
You don't know where the time has gone
You end sentences wit 3 (or more) periods while writing letters by hand
Your relationship on line has gone farther than any real one you have had
You get up at 2 AM to go to the bathroom but turn on the computer instead
You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo
You enter a room & 23 people greet you with [hugs] or ** kisses **
You stop typing whole words and use things like ppl dunno, and lemme
Your voice mail answering machine message is "BRB" leave you s/n & I will TTYL"
you type faster than you think
You got your psychiatrist addicted to AOL too & are now undergoing therapy in private rooms instead of at his office
You want to be buried with your computer when it dies or vice versa
You actually enjoy the fact that you are addicted
You can actually read & follow all the names of the cast that scrolls up your TV screen at the end of a movie
People say " if it weren't for you super reflexes in your eyes & fingers you would have been classified as a vegetable
You dream in "text"
Being called a Newbie is "MAJOR" insult
there is absolutely no interesting chat in any room & you're really bored
You don't want to leave in case you miss something
you double click your TV remote
You can now type over 70 wpm