You're a New Yorker when...
2. You have never been to the Statue of Liberty or the Empire State Building.
3. You can get into a four-hour argument about "the best" way to get from Columbus Circle to battery Park at 3:30 on the Friday before a long weekend, but can't find Wisconsin on a map. Who cares where Wisconsin is?
4. Hookers and the homeless are invisible. Hookers, Homeless???
5. The subway makes sense. Of course it does.
6. The subway should never be called anything like the Metro. Got that right.
7. You believe that being able to swear at people in their own language makes you multilingual.
8. Your door has more than three locks. Well, maybe.
9. The most frequently used part of your car is the horn.
10. You consider eye contact an act of overt aggression.
11. You call an 8-by-10-foot plot of patchy grass a yard. Even have a lawn mower.
12. You cried the day Ed Koch took over for Wapner. Not really.
13. You think Central Park is "nature." Why not, it's beautiful there.
14. You see nothing odd about the speed of an auctioneer's speaking. What speed?
15. You're paying $1,200 for a studio the size of a walk-in closet and you think it's a "steal." It's in a good neighbourhood.
16. You've been to New Jersey twice and got hopelessly lost both times. No, I didn't Frank did.
17. You pay more each month to park your car than most people in the US pay in rent.
18. You haven't seen more than 12 stars in the night sky since you went away to camp as a kid.
19. You go to dinner at 9pm and head out to the clubs when most Americans are heading to bed. SO?
20. Your closet is filled with black clothes. SO? What's your point?
21. You haven't heard the sound of true absolute silence since 1977, and when you did it terrified you. That was scary.
22. You pay $5 without blinking for a beer that cost the bar 28 cents.
23. You take fashion seriously.
24. Being truly alone makes you nervous.
25. You have 27 different menus next to your telephone. Doesn't everyone?
26. Going to Brooklyn is considered a "road trip." Of Course, you only go there to visit.
27. America west of the Hudson is still theoretical to you.
28. You have jaywalking down to an art form. Your born with it.
29. You're suspicious of strangers who are actually nice to you.
30. You haven't cooked a meal since helping Mom last Thanksgiving.
31. You take a taxi to get to your health club to exercise.
32. Your idea of personal space is no one actually standing on your toes.
33. $50 worth of groceries fits in one paper bag.
34. You have a minimum of five "worst cab ride ever" stories. Actually I have a few more then that?
35. You don't hear sirens anymore.
36. You've mentally blocked out all thoughts of the city's air quality and what it's doing to your lungs.
37. You live in a building with a larger population than most American towns.
38. Your doorman is Russian, your grocer is Korean, your deli man is
Israeli, your building super is Italian, your laundry guy is Chinese,
your favourite bartender is Irish, your favourite diner owner is Greek,