Top 10 signs you may be addicted to IRC.

10. Your service provider calls *you* for tech support.

9. Someone at work tells you a joke, and you say "LOL!"

8. You have ever had a dream about the people in your channels.

7. You have to scroll through your popup menu.

6. You watch T.V. with closed captioning turned on.

5. Your friend Tom tells you something sad on the phone and you say "Awwww, me hugs Tom."

4. You've called out someone else's nick while making love to your husband.

3. You keep begging your friend's to get an internet account so "we can hang out."

2. Three words: carpal tunnel syndrome.

1. You laughed at this list.

You might be addicted to irc if....

...your friends are now convinced that IRC stands for "I Repeat Classes." want to meet a girl and your first impulse is to turn on your computer. once devoted a weekend to "working on your popups." sometimes go to #egypt "just to get away from it all."

...when you join #callahans everyone types "Norm!"'re a heterosexual male, but one time you used a feminine nick "just to mess with the horny net geeks." come home from class, look at your roomates, and say "ib." wait for your roomates to say "re."

...the words "takeover," "nick collide," and "flood" make your heart beat faster and your hands a little shakey.

...sometimes you type commands from the unix prompt you mistakenly begin them with a "/"'ve ever gotten onto an airplane just to meet some folks face to face. make it a point to change your ping reply and quit message daily. have over 2 megs of .wav files on your mirc directory. have to get a second phone line just so you can call Domino's.

...your child ignores your request and you wonder if she is lagged. send internet Christmas cards. *wink*'ve ever felt the urge to type "*wink*." have ever wondered if there is a #irc-anon. have an irc web page.'ve ever went to one of those form-submit web page 'chats' just to say "you loosers don't even know what irc is, do you? Huh!? DO YOU!?!"'ve ever logged on to dalnet. join #hispanola "just to work on my Spanish."

...when someone on the channel asks if anyone knows some good servers, everyone else types your nick. join busy channels just to talk to yourself because the scrolling makes you feel better about it somehow.'ve ever typed "drinking on irc is better than drinking alone." go into labor and you stop to type a "special" away message. have a vanity car tag with your nick on it.

From Karma:'ve been lagged so bad that you've switched servers so much you can see you nick on the channel list 3 times.

From Lori: no longer type with proper punctuation, capitolization, or complete senteces..

From Charlotte (Vilas):

* you live on #twilight_zone for months praying for an O: line
* you end up with 7 O: lines
* to get revenge on someone you know in RL, you mail bomb them..through the US postal service, that is
* you have met over 100 ircers
* you /umode +s because you dont feel right without it
* you dont know your boyfriend/girlfriend's first name
* your boyfriend/girlfriend in RL gets on IRC coz its the only way to reach you
* you know which servers are major *.tw
* you call your S.O (boyfriend/girlfriend is too long to type) a HNG
* you use words like 'leet' and 'lame' in RL
* you find yourself wishing that that bitch on your hall were on irc so you could flood her
* you read operlist
* you tell your rfiends you have plans already on saturday night when you dont
* your .ircrc is over 80k
* you feel a need to talk in all caps to certain people in RL
* your desk is the only part of your room you ever use (screw the bed ;)
* you have ever put a smiley in a paper for school


the JehovA's Witnesses knock on the door, and all you can think of doing is flood them with PINGs.

You get a call from a telemarketer, and instead of hanging up on them, you set down the phone, and set their mode to -v

You call up your friend Nick, and /invite $nick to #watch_TV

You offer the babysitter OPS when you go out for the night

You refer to rush hour traffic as LAGGED... or to avoid traffic, you tell your passenger you need to quit for a second to switch servers

The word I is now replaced in your vocabulary with /me.

You raise your hand in class, and say "BRB"

You have more than 3 private MSG windows going simultaneously

You won't subscribe to a certain internet provider because they don't offer unlimited time per month

Instead of taking a disk home from work, you set up your BOT to serve it to you later that night

You no longer have to stop and explain to your friends what "RE ALL" means

You begin to say hehehehehehehehe instead of laughing

You don't sleep at night because you are too stay up late thinking of a new NICK

You know and use regularly, more than 10 different ways to smile in ascii text

From William Estep (

...You cry when you see more than 3 quit messages with two servers listed as the reason.

From Babieface (aka. Karen)

..when someone says "what did you say?" you reply "scroll up!" find yourself sneaking away to the computer in the middle of the might when your spouse is asleep to get more irc time in! turn down the lights and close the blinds so people won't know that you are on irc again! know more about your irc "friends" daily routines than you do your own spouses!

..when someone in a channel says "where is today, and you know exactly where that person is and why they are not logged on. find yourself lieing to others about your irc time. When they complain your phone is busy, you claim it was off the hook! have an identity crisis if someone else is using your nick. would rather tell people your bloodshot eyes are from partying too much instead of the truth (up all night on irc!) change nicks so much that you have to type /me to see who you are! put on special mood music while talking to certain people in private chats!

..your friends on irc were above your RL friends on your Christmas card list! find yourself involved in channel politics on irc! ever turned down real hugs for {{hugs}} from your irc friends. have actually kept up with 10 converstions at one time! <---this one shows either great skill or that you are too far gone! postpone your college graduation date so you can keep your free .edu account!

From Eponine: have ever written a pen-and-paper letter to someone and found it _impossible_ to do without smilies

From Rampie: don't even bother answering the phone anymore...

... If you're broke and your modem burns out and you go out on to the streeets to sell your body to get a new one..

...If you are willing to risk a divorce because your husband doesn't like all the time you are spending on the computer

...If you are willing to sell a kidney to get to the next #anne-Rice channel meet

...If you are risking your job by staying on #anne-rice in the afternoon

From Antha:

...If you open up your home to 15 strangers for a week merely because they have computers and cute nicknames

... if you consider getting an THIRD phone line so your S.O. can get online on a diff acct

...If you yell at ppl cause they aww using more than 2 w's and are messing up your URL list

...if your kids are standing at your side going "mommy, please come cook dinner" and you'd rather type another "LOL!"

From Gabrielle:

...If the first thing you say after coming out of a movie is, "Hey. Remember that funny line? It would make a perfect info line!"

From: Scullycj Marry your cyberboyfriend RT and you both sit at your own computers and chat to each other every night from across the room! (Hehehe I this:)

From: Lonny have ever had netsex with a bot.


your first thought when your nick is taken is "VERSION"


You might be addicted to irc if...both you and your wife has thier own computer, server, and e-mail address.


You might be addicted to irc download this list to send it to your other net friends.

From: Firestrtr (url only)


You might be addicted to irc keep making channels with one more "!", just so you can get the top of the channel list

From:Agent X

You might be addicted to irc if...
... you have to go on Irc by sneaking on your friend/Father's Laptop while they are at work or are away. are a X files fan and go on #X-files just to say "Does anyone here like the X-Files T.V.Show?" go on but can continue after your computer searches for your server you yell "Dumb, Server".

..... you constantly say "hello?" or "you lagged, boy" to anyone on the street.

From: Bouncey (Charles Terrell)

You might be addicted to irc if...Your S.O.'s friends and family (all in the same geographical area, most computer illiterate, none addicted to IRC) refer to you by your nick, because for months that's the only name they heard.


... You came here when the channel you were on was less than 20 people


...if you find it RIGHT..........right


You might be addicted to irc if...both you and your wife has thier own computer, server, and e-mail address.


You might be addicted to irc download this list to send it to your other net friends.

From:DWildstar (That's Mr. Wildstar to you Europeans)

* you use the words "donut" or "broked" in email

* you type in all lowercase now, even while typing assignments

* you keep an irc window open while doing homework

* you use irc as an excuse for procrastinating on homework

* you've gone through more than one keyboard because you can't leave irc long enough to have a cig

* you type messages to people while you're talking to them on the phone

* you hack your server idle time "so lamers donut bug me"

* you've ever actually used "donut" or "woii" in a sentance

* your nick is mentioned on an irc web page (or's published in printed material somewhere)

* you keep a client on 24/7 so someone doesn't steal your nick


you *do* preface things in email with /me

you feel the urge to /kick and /ban annoying peopel in person

From: ?

... you argue with your kids over whose turn it is.

...when you write a letter you put :-) at the end of a sentence


...You wont work at a job that doesnt have a modem involed

From:robs sign your nick instead of your "real name"

From:Odeon take your girlfriend on a date to #redlobster, then to a movie at #cineplex_odeon.

From:GOLDORAK want to kick-ban your sister from your house.

From: itsmeKaren hang out in the #florida room on dalnet and are involved in the soap opera that goes on there

From:Sakashca look at your cat and say mmmm chicken

From:JEEPjr sat around for more than 2 minutes trying to think of a witty "You might be addicted to irc if..." joke to add to this list.


Your husband announces that he is getting a second matter what you say!! He's tired of the phone always being busy.

From: Eric Hauser/Trekkie

...refuse to go to alt.irc.recovery when your friends tell you too...

...your dog leaves you... have to ask what the year is... a toilet into your computer chair so you never *miss* anything...

From: ripclaw

... You join certain channels just to read the funny topics


...If your sitting sitting at work with NO IRC Clients and you can't find any; Anywhere, You get sidetracked into reading webs about IRC.

From: DaPackFan have to replace your / and # keys every few weeks.


You might be addicted to irc if you are telling someone about all your friends and it turns out they are all on IRC...


You might be addicted to irc if..are doing things more and more that you swore you would never, ever do when you first found chat!

YOU MAY BE ADDICTED TO IRC IF: You type faster than you think You can read the cast names that scroll on your TV at the end of a movie You dream only in "text" format Nothing's happening, but you don't want to leave for fear you'd miss something You spend at least 30 minutes saying goodbye to everyone on line You stop speaking in full sentences, or use short choppy ones You have a vanity car tag with your nick on it Someone at work tells you a joke and you say "LOL" In the real world your first thought upon seeing a pretty girl is to "msg" her You go up to people you're attracted to at parties and ask them for their GIF You become insanely jealous of anyone hitting on your cyber-love You prefer watching TV with the closed captioning turned on When someone says, "What did you say ?" you reply, "Scroll up !" You know more about your on-line friends' routines than you do your family's You have an identity crisis if someone is using a nick close to your own You change your nick so much that you have to look to see who you are You can type messages while you are on the phone and carry on two conversations Your dog leaves you You sign on & get 10 msgs from people who have you on their notify list You wish you had an ignore button that would work in real life You bring a bag lunch & a cooler to the computer Your S.O. kisses your neck while you're on-line & you think, "cyber-perv" Your notify list contains over 100 people You have to inject no-doze into your butt to keep it awake You have no idea what time it is Your relationship online has gone farther than any real one you ever had You don't even notice anymore when someone has a typo You're seeking an on line psychiatrist to treat your IRC addiction Someone online says they gotta pee, you ask them to go for you, & think they can You've yet to see anything funny at all in this list |