Some of my favourite fortunes
Everything is controlled by a small, evil group to which, unfortunately no one
we know belongs.
Documentation is like sex: when it's good, it's very, very good, when it's bad
it is better than nothing.
Speak softly and carry a +6 two handed sword.
I'd like to meet the man who invented sex and see what he's working on now.
If A = B and B = C, then A = C, except when void or prohibited by law.
Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
Drive defensively. Buy a tank.
A closed mouth gathers no foot.
Know thyself. If you need help call the CIA.
Science is true. Don't be mislead by facts.
There are three ways to do something: do it yourself, hire someone or forbid
your kids to do it.
Prayers are always answered. The answer is usually no.
Anarchy may not be the best form of government, but it's better than no
government at all.
For every complex problem there is a solution that is simple, neat and wrong.
When all else fails read the instruction.
It'll work better if you plug it in.
Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll have another drink.
Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
Life is like a penis: when it's soft you can't beat it, when it's hard you get
Murphy's law is recursive. Washing your car to make it rain doesn't work.
One way to stop a runaway horse is to bet on it.
Double your hard disk: type del c:\windows.
Don't believe everything you hear or anything you say.
Even if hell exists it's still not sure whether they want us there.
Why is it when we talk to God we are praying but when he talks to us we are
Friends help you move. Real friends help you move
For every action is equal and opposite criticism.
I’d give my left arm to be ambidextrous.
In dev/null no one can hear you scream.
Mad – affected with a high degree of intellectual
It’s a kind of fun to do the impossible – Walt
Forgive and remember.
Cat is a four footed allergen.
Whenever people agree with me I always feel I must be
wrong – Oscar Wilde
It's a little known fact that the Dark Ages were
caused by unresolved Y1K issues.
Some people are alive only because it’s illegal to kill.
The best car safety device? A rear-view mirror with a cop in it.
99% of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defence.
All those who believe in
psychokinesis, raise my hand.
If you're too open minded, your brains will fall out.
If you must choose between two evils, pick the one you've never tried
My idea of housework is to sweep the room with a glance.
It is easier to get forgiveness than permission.
For every action, there is an equal and opposite government program.
Eat well, stay fit, die anyway.
A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand.
Junk is something you've kept for years and throw away three weeks before
you need it.
Experience is a wonderful thing. It enables you to recognize a mistake
when you make it again.
Thou shalt not weigh more than thy refrigerator.
Someone who thinks logically provides a nice contrast to the real world.
|| Linki || Kaila