Final exam from hell
Instructions: Read each question carefully. Answer all questions.
Time limit: 2 hours. Begin immediately.
- History - Describe the history of the Papacy from its origins to the present day,
concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on it's social, political, economic,
religious and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America and Africa. Be brief, concise
- Medicine - You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze, and a
bottle of scotch. Remove your appendix. Do not suture until you work has been inspected.
You have fifteen minutes.
- Public Speaking - 2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom. Calm
them. You may use any ancient language except Latin or Greek.
- Biology - Create life. Estimate the differences in subsequent human culture if
this form of life had developed 500 million years earlier, with special attention to its
probable effect on the English Parliamentary System. Prove your thesis.
- Music - Write a piano concerto. Orchestrate and perform it with flute and drum.
You will find a piano under your seat.
- Physchology - Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the emotional
stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations of each of the following:
Alexander of Aphrodisis, Rameses II, and Hammuarabi. Support your evaluation with
quotations from each man's work, making appropriate references. It is not necessary to
- Sociology - Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany the end of
the world. Construct an experiment to test your theory.
- Engineering - The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been placed on
your desk. You will also find an instruction manual, printed in Swahili. In 10 minutes, a
hungry bengal tiger will be admitted to the room. Take whatever action you feel necessary.
Be prepared to justify your decision.
- Economics - Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt. Trace the
possible effects of your plan in the following areas: Cubism, the Donatist Controversy and
the Wave Theory of Light. Outline a method for preventing these effects. Criticize this
method from all possible points of view. Point out the deficiencies in your point of view,
as demonstrated in your answer to the last question.
- Political Science - There is a red telephone on the desk beside you. Start World
War III. Report at length on its socio-political effects (if any).
- Epistemology - Take a position for or against truth. Prove the validity of your
- Physics - Explain the nature of matter. Include in your answer an evaluation of
the impact of the development of mathematics on science.
- Philosophy - Sketch the development of human thought; estimate its significance.
Compare with the development of any other kind of thought.
- General Knowledge - Describe in detail. Be objective and specific.
- Management Science - Define Management. Define Science. How do they relate? Why?
Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all managerial decisions. Assuming an 1130 CPU
supporting 50 terminals, with each terminal activating your algorithm, design the
communications interface and all necessary control programs.
- Modern Physics - Disprove Einstein's Theory of Relativity. Construct an
experiment to prove your position.
- Foreign Affairs - It has recently been suggested (especially after Black Monday)
that only a foreign war can restore America's lost national consensus. Propose the ideal
opponent(s) for the US in such a war, and how the conflict might be engineered so that US
would seem not to be the aggressor in the situation. Discuss the pros and cons.
- Art - Explain Mona Lisa's smile.
- Juris Prudence - In Part 2 of Shakespeare's "Henry VI", Jack Cade, the
leader of the populist revolt, proposes that the first order of business following a
successful coup d'e'tat could be to "kill all the lawyers". In light of the
present populist mood in the United States, assess the utility and any potential impact of
such a policy today.
- Religion - Assuming the Judeo-Christian moral structure, take the stand for Adam
and Eve; defend their eating of the forbidden fruit. Explain your position fully to a
Chassidic Rabbi, and answer his arguments. An Anglican bishop will moderate this debate.
- Extra Credit - Define the Universe; give three examples.