Top Bumper Stickers Seen Around The World

 1. Constipated People Don't Give A Crap.

 2. Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

 3. If You Drink Don't Park, Accidents Cause People.

 4. Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

 5. If You Don't Believe In Oral Sex, Keep Your Mouth Shut.

 6. Please Tell Your Pants Its Not Polite To Point.

 7. If That Phone Was Up Your Butt, Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

 8. My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

 9. Thank You For Pot Smoking.

 10. To All You Virgins Thanks For Nothing.

 11. If At First You Don't Succeed...blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling.

 12. Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

 13. If You Can Read This, I've Lost My Trailer.

 14. Horn Broken... Watch For Finger.

 15. It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

 16. If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My Ass.

 17. You're Just Jealous Because The Voices Are Talking To Me

 18. The Earth Is Full - Go Home

 19. I Have The Body Of A God... Buddha

 20. This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

 21. So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

 22. Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult

 23. If We Quit Voting Will They All Go Away?

 24. The Face Is Familiar But I Can't Quite Remember My Name

 25. Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

 26. Illiterate? Write For Help

 27. Honk If Anything Falls Off

 28. Cover Me I'm Changing Lanes

 29. He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

 30. I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

 31. You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

 32. I Do Whatever My Rice Krispies Tell Me To

 33. Where Are We Going And Why Am I In This Handbasket?

 34. It's Been Lovely But I Have To Scream Now

 35. I Haven't Lost My Mind, It's Backed Up On Disk Somewhere

 36. If You Can Read This, The Bitch Fell Off...[Seen On The Back Of A  Biker's Vest]

 37. If Sex Is A Pain In The Ass, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

 38. Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

 39. If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...[Seen Upside Down, On  A Jeep]

 40. Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35mph Are Also Timed For 70mph.

 41. Guys: No Shirt, No Service Gals: No Shirt, No Charge  [Reported To Be Seen On A Restaurant]

 42. If Walking Is So Good For You, Then Why Does My Mailman Look Like abba  The Hut?

 43. Necrophillia: That Uncontrollable Urge To Crack Open A Cold One.

 44. Ax Me About Ebonics

 45. Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

 46. Boldly Going Nowhere

 47. Cat: The Other White Meat

 48. Caution - Driver Legally Blonde!

 49. Don't Be Sexist - Broads Hate That

 50. Heart Attacks... God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends

 51. Honk If You've Never Seen An Uzi Fired From A Car Window

 52. How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down Before He Admits He Is Lost?

 53. If You Can't Dazzle Them With Brilliance, Riddle Them With Bullets.

 54. Money Isn't Everything, But It Sure Keeps The Kids In Touch

 55. Saw It... Wanted It... Had A Fit... Got It!

 56. Warning! Driver Only Carries $20.00 In Ammunition

 57. What Has Four Legs And An Arm? A Happy Pit Bull

 

Women's bumper stickers

So many men, so few who can afford me.

God made us sisters, Prozac made us friends.

If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.

Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks frog.

Coffee, chocolate, men... some things are just better rich.

Don't treat me any differently than you would the queen.

If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.

Dinner is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.

I'm out of estrogen - and I have a gun.

Guys have feelings too... but like - who cares?

Next mood swing in 6 minutes.

And your point is?

Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.

Of course I don't look busy ... I did it right the first time.

Don't start with me... You will not win.

You have the right to remain silent, so please shut up.

All stressed out and no-one to choke.

I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.

How can I miss you if you won't go away?

Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.

If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.

Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.