GREAT BEER THOUGHTS
You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline -- it helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.
-- Frank Zappa
Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.
-- Ernest Hemingway
Always remember that I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
-- Winston Churchill
He was a wise man who invented beer.
Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.
-- Catherine Zandonella
If God had intended us to drink beer, He would have given us stomachs.
-- David Daye
Work is the curse of the drinking class.
-- Oscar Wilde
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
-- Henny Youngman
Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.
-- Benjamin Franklin
People who drink lite "beer" don't like the taste of beer; they just like to pee a lot.
-- Capital Brewery, Middleton, WI
Adhere to Schweinheitsgebot. Don't put anything in your beer that a pig wouldn't eat.
-- David Geary
Put it back in the horse!
-- H. Allen Smith, an American humorist in the '30s-'50s, after he drank his first American beer at a bar.
Why is American beer served cold? So you can tell it from urine.
-- David Moulton
I like beer. On occasion, I will even drink beer to celebrate a major event such as the fall of Communism or the fact that the refrigerator is still working.
-- Dave Barry
Over the past few years, scientists at Heinz say they've been developing what they say is a revolutionary new kind of baby bottle. It's a baby bottle actually shaped like a woman's breasts. If that's true, forget baby bottles, make beer bottles.
-- Jay Leno
Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.
-- Dave Barry