The Good with the Bad

Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.

Bad: Your husband's a cross-dresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.

Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.

Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.

Bad: You can't find your vibrator.
Worse: Your son "borrowed" it.

Bad: Your wife is sick.
Worse: Of you.

Bad: Your unit only measures out to be 2 inches long.
Worse: Erect!!

Bad: Your husband has become a playboy.
Worse: Centerfold.

Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You're arrested.
Worse: By your husband.

Good: The teacher likes your son.
Bad: Sexually.

Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: Your wife walks in unexpectedly.

Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.

Good: Your boyfriend's on a diet.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.

Good: Your daughter practices safe sex.
Bad: She's eleven.

Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
Bad: She weighs 350 pounds.

Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.

Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.

Good: Your wife's kinky.
Bad: With the neighbors.
Worse: All of them.

Good: Your wife just experienced her first orgasm.
Bad: With the Postman.

Good: Your wife's got a flat stomach.
Bad: And a matching chest.

Good: Your wife's got large breasts.
Bad: And a matching ass.

Good: Your wife reminds you of your mother.
Bad: In bed.

Good: Your girlfriend's got soft, long, blonde hair.
Bad: Under her arms.

Good: Your daughter's boss raves about her work.
Bad: He's a pimp.

Good: Your son just graduated from high school.
Bad: He's 27.