The Good with the Bad
Bad: Your children are sexually active.
Worse: With each other.
Bad: Your husband's a cross-dresser.
Worse: He looks better than you.
Bad: Your wife wants a divorce.
Worse: She's a lawyer.
Bad: Your wife's leaving you.
Worse: For another woman.
Bad: You can't find your vibrator.
Worse: Your son "borrowed" it.
Bad: Your wife is sick.
Worse: Of you.
Bad: Your unit only measures out to be 2 inches long.
Bad: Your husband has become a playboy.
Good: Hot outdoor sex.
Bad: You're arrested.
Worse: By your husband.
Good: The teacher likes your son.
Good: You came home for a quickie.
Bad: Your wife walks in unexpectedly.
Good: You go to see a strip show.
Bad: Your daughter's the headliner.
Good: Your boyfriend's on a diet.
Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes.
Good: Your daughter practices safe sex.
Bad: She's eleven.
Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude.
Bad: She weighs 350 pounds.
Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex.
Bad: You live downtown.
Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude.
Bad: She's coming home.
Good: Your wife's kinky.
Bad: With the neighbors.
Worse: All of them.
Good: Your wife just experienced her first orgasm.
Bad: With the Postman.
Good: Your wife's got a flat stomach.
Bad: And a matching chest.
Good: Your wife's got large breasts.
Bad: And a matching ass.
Good: Your wife reminds you of your mother.
Bad: In bed.
Good: Your girlfriend's got soft, long, blonde hair.
Bad: Under her arms.
Good: Your daughter's boss raves about her work.
Bad: He's a pimp.
Good: Your son just graduated from high school.
Bad: He's 27.