Advertisement Humor

The following all appeared in classified ads... "Believe It or Not"... 

2 female Boston Terrier puppies, 7 wks old, Perfect markings, 555-1234. Leave mess.

Lost: small apricot poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family. 

A superb and inexpensive restaurant. Fine food expertly served by waitresses in
appetizing forms.

Dinner Special -- Turkey $2.35; Chicken or Beef $2.25; Children $2.00. 

For sale: an antique desk suitable for lady with thick legs and large drawers.

Four-poster bed, 101 years old. Perfect for antique lover. 

Now is your chance to have your ears pierced and get an extra pair to take home, too.

Wanted: 50 girls for stripping machine operators in factory. 

Wanted: Unmarried girls to pick fresh fruit and produce at night. 

We do not tear your clothing with machinery. We do it carefully by hand.

For Sale -- Eight puppies from a German Shepperd and an Alaskan Hussy. 

Great Dames for sale.

Tired of cleaning yourself? Let me do it. 

Dog for sale: eats anything and is fond of children. 

If you think you've seen everything in Paris, visit the Pere Lachasis Cemetery. It
boasts such immortals as Moliere, Jean de la Fontain, and Chopin.

Mt. Kilimanjaro, the breathtaking backdrop for the Serena Lodge. Swim in the lovely pool
while you drink it all in.

The hotel has bowling alleys, tennis courts, comfortable beds, and other athletic
facilities.

Get rid of aunts: Zap does the job in 24 hours. 

Sheer stockings. Designed for fancy dress, but so serviceable that lots of women wear
nothing else.

Stock up and save. Limit: one. 

Man, honest. Will take anything. 

Wanted: chambermaid in rectory. Love in, $200 a month. References required.

UsedCars: Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first! 

Christmans tag-sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person. 

Modular Sofas. Only $299. For rest or fore play. 

Wanted: Hair-cutter. Excellent growth potential. 

Wanted. Man to take care of cow that does not smoke or drink. 

3-year-old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred. 

Our experienced Mom will care of your child. Fenced yard, meals, and smacks included.

Our bikinis are exciting. They are simply the tops. 

Auto Repair Service. Free pick-up and delivery. Try us once, you'll never go anywhere
again.

Holcross pullets. Starting to lay Betty Clayton, Granite 5-6204. 

Illiterate? Write today for free help. 

Girl wanted to assist magician in cutting-off-head illusion. Blue Cross and salary.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping
duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.

Mixing bowl set designed to please a cook with round bottom for efficient beating.

Semi-Annual after-Christmas Sale. 

We will oil your sewing machine and adjust tension in your home for $1.00.