Signs of Computer Addiction

  1. Your wife wants a diamond for her birthday, and you get her a Diamond  Stealth Video Card.

  2. You know what PPP, SLIP, HTML & FTP mean...but darned if you can remember your wife's maiden name.

  3. You sit in front of the tv...trying to type at a keyboard.

  4. You find out that hemmorhoids aren't THAT painful, as long as you're on the 'Net.

  5. When someone yells out "What's for supper?" you do a search for SUPPER.COM.

  6. You suspect there's a virus in your mashed potatoes.

  7. If you smoke away from the machine, you notice that the breaks are getting shorter and less frequent.

  8. The optometrist looks deep in your eyes, and sees a screen saver.

  9. You finally save up enough to visit the Grand Canyon, and you can't help but wonder how it would look on a 21" SVGA.

 10. "Not tonight, I have a headache" has been replaced with "Not tonight, I finally got connected".

 11. Your computer room has a better air conditioner than your bedroom.

 12. You wonder if you can install your own fiber optics telephone line to your server.

 13. You speak of "Your Server" with the same reverence you used to reserve for your Doctor.

 14. You never met the guy, but you've already decided on a plan to assasinate Bill Gates.

 15. You sit in front of the computer reading idiotic cyber stand up comedy like this.