A Woman's 50 Rules For Men
- Don’t lie.
- Never tape any of her body parts together.
- If guys' night out is going to be fun, invite the girls.
- If guys' night out is going to involve strippers, remember the zoo rules,
- The correct answer to, “Do I look fat?” is never, ever yes.
- Ditto for, “Is she prettier then me.”
- Victoria’s secret is good. Frederick’s of hollywood is bad.
- Ordering for her is good. Telling her what she wants is bad.
- Being attentive is good. Stalking is bad.
- “Honey,” “Darling,” and “Sweetheart,” are good.
“Nag,” "Lardass,” and, “Bitch” are bad.
- Talking is good. Shouting is bad. Slapping is a felony.
- A grunt is seldom an acceptable answer to any question.
- None of your ex-girlfriends were ever nicer, prettier, or better in bed.
- Her cooking is excellent - so tell her.
- But that isn’t an excuse for you to avoid cooking.
- Dish soap is your friend.
- Hat does not equal shower, aftershave does not equal soap, and warm does
not equal clean.
- Buying her dinner does not equal foreplay.
- Answering, “Who was that on the phone,” with, “Nobody,” is never
going to end that conversation.
- Ditto for, “Whose lipstick is this?”
- Two words - clean socks.
- Believe it or not - you’re probably not more attractive when you’re
- Burping is not sexy.
- You’re wrong!
- You’re sorry!
- She is probably less impressed by your discourse on your cool car than you
think she is.
- Ditto for your discourse on football.
- Ditto for your abilty to jump up and hit any awning in a single bound.
- “Will you marry me?” is good. “Let’s shack up together is bad”.
- Don’t assume PMS is the cause for every bad mood.
- Don’t assume PMS doesn’t exist.
- No means no. Yes means yes. Silence could mean anything. She feels like at
that particular moment in time, and it could change without notice.
- “But we kiss,...”Is not justification for using her toothbrush. You
don’t clean plaque with your tongue.
- Never let her walk anywhere alone after 11pm.
- Chivalry and feminism are not mutually exclusive.
- Pick her up at the airport - don’t whine - just do it.
- If you want to break up with her - break up with her. Don’t act like a
complete ass until she does it for you.
- Don’t tell her you love her if you don’t.
- Tell you love her if you do - often.
- Always suck up to her brother.
- Think boxers.
- Silk boxers.
- Remeber Valentine’s Day and any, “cheesy” anniversary sheso-names.
- Don’t try to change the way she dresses.
- Her haircut is never bad.
- Don’t let your friends pick on her.
- Don’t lie.
- Alright so the rules are never fair. If all you guys out there just
followed these simple rules - then maybe we could all just get along.