1. How many times have you checked your e-mail today? 2. How often do you wonder who's written you on e-mail? 3. How often do you ask other people to use their terminals to check your e-mail? 4. How often do you ask people to send you e-mail? 5. How often do you send e-mail to someone who lives right next door to you? or is in the same room as you? Someone you see everyday? 6. Do you search your addressbook for someone new to e-mail that you barely know? Or don't know at all? 7. Do you get more excited when someone e-mails you, rather than writing a letter or calling by phone? 8. Have you ever e-mailed someone you don't know, and have never even seen before, just to make some smart-ass comment and see if you get a response? 9. Do you spend friday or saturday nights in front of your computer screen on e-mail or the internet? 10. Do you call people just to get their e-mail address, and then hang up, only to e-mail them immediately afterwards. 11. Do you have other people e-mail people you've e-mailed just to encourage them to get on their asses and e-mail you back? 12. Do you write senseless things on e-mail late at night or in the day and send them to friends just for the hell of it? 13. Do you call people just to tell them you e-mailed them, and then hang up so they can read their e-mail, and hopefully respond? 14. Does e-mail and the internet distract you from obligations and time spent with loved ones? 15. Do you find yourself sitting in front of the screen wondering what new, screwed up types of things you can put on the interne Doc addtion: 1. Do you balance your check book using a lotus spreadsheet file? 2. Do you do your taxes on lotus? 3. Do you email people in the same office as you? 4. Are you a technical harasser? (which means, do you change other peoples passwords, colors and other dinky things. This means you binky)
Top 10 Signs that You've Overdosed on The World Wide Web
10. Your opening line is: "So, what's your homepage address?"
9. You see a beautiful sunset, and you half-expect to see "Enhanced for Netscape 1.1" on one of the clouds.
8. You are overcome with disbelief, anger, and finally depressed acceptance when you encounter a Webpage with no links.
7. You felt driven to consult the "Cool Page of the Day" on your wedding day.
6. One of your best friends is Mirsky, and you've never met him.
5. You are driving on a dark and rainy night when you hydroplane on a puddle, sending your car careening towards the flimsy guardrail that separates you the precipice of a rocky cliff and certain death, and you desperately look for the "Back" button.
4. You visit "The Really Big Button That Doesn't Do Anything" again and again and again.
3. Your dog has his own webpage.
2. So does your hamster.
And the number 1 sign that you have overdosed on the World Wide Web:
1. When you read a magazine, you have an irresistible urge to click on the underlined passages.
If you answered yes to any of these problems, get you ass away from the computer screen and take a long walk!!! You're pathetic!!!! You have a serious problem with this whole e-mail thing, and are addicted to modern technology, having your mind, and voice sucked out of you. Do you even interact with people anymore? Be careful, stopping cold turkey can be very dangerous-serious withdrawls can occur, leaving a person twitching, and typing into thin air, senselessly mumbling addresses and passwords that have been changed. Please go see someone about this problem. Addiction to the internet is serious, and can be as threatening as alcohol or drug addiction. If you or someone you know has an internet dependancy, please contact some professionals at e-mail:
You might be a net surfer if...
You surf the net with 5 browser windows open at the same time.
You see an underlined sentences in the paper and have the urge to double click on it.
You have the curly 'e' logo tattooed on your forearm.
Run a red light on the way to work and start looking for the back button.
You don't have a bookmark list you have a database.
You programmed your own search engine.
You are sleepwalking to your computer at night.
Your gold fish has its own web site.
You start leaving your reminder notes on your refrigerator in HTML.
You put best viewed with Netscape 3.0 or above on your drivers license.
You start making web sites for all of your friends so you can get to know them more.
You change your dogs name from browser to browser.
You put in random URL's just see where you end up at.
You have two phone lines but no phone.
You put a @ in front of your home address (@227 Ridge road).
You go to personal web sites just to see their links page.